Mar 24, 2010

Realität kann so schön sein...

Heute habe ich in einem Blog von einer Frau namens Amber eine nette Story aus ihrem Leben gelesen, die ich hier unbeding weitergeben möchte:

http://aandmbdayblog.blogspot.com/2010/02/catfighting-strippers.html

Catfighting Strippers

When Amber asked me to write a post for her and Megs big secret, which isn't a secret now if you're reading this, I was all... LOVE TOO. And when I found it was about Vegas, I was all... PERFECT! MIITB ROCKS VEGAS!!

Except...

Vegas is not about shopping, or clubbing (do people even call it that anymore? I have no idea), or drinking, or tanning, or watching live shows for me.

Nope, I love it for the poker games. That's what I do with 95% of my time in Vegas. But more than likely, none of you play poker, or care about poker.. so....

You get to hear about the time two strippers were about to throw blows over sweet little innocent me! So if strip clubs aren't your thing, feel free to peruse the other posts! This is barely PG-13 though.....

Since I'm usually with a bunch of guys in Vegas, I get dragged along to the strip club...which whatever, I'll help support single moms going to college &<-----kidding, calm down. We walk in and every stripper's radar goes off... OMG!! A GIRL WHO WON'T GROPE AND DROOL AND SWEAT ALL OVER ME. Literally as soon as we are shown our seats, three girls walk over to me... in the middle of 5 guys, and try to get them to buy me a dance. I turn them down, order my drink (or 3), politely refuse the next two girls to come up to me, and chair dance like the dork that I am to the music. Seven drinks later and the guys are buying me dances one after the other. Hey, when in Vegas right? One of the strippers was clearly drunk, or high, or a moron, stumbling all over me, trying to lift my shirt up, trying to lick me... it was awkward.. but hubby was digging it of course and told her to come back later. Right.. not enough alcohol in the world. <---eh, one more drink woulda done it Anysexuallyconfused, drunk girl leaves and another one comes up. This one is chatty cathy be my new bff. I learned she just moved here from Indiana, likes Vegas, wants to learn how to play poker, going to college, boyfriend dumped her, went grocery shopping last Tuesday... she wouldn't shut up. I'm listening her drone on about her bread catching on fire <----not kidding, she's in my lap stretching her leg up over my shoulder (cuz why isn't this situation normal?), and a plastic cup comes flying across the room and hits her in the head. Swear to God DOINK.. right off her bleach blonde hair and ricochets into my friend's lap. Chatty Cathy whips around and I wipe off my cleavage off from the Vodka and who's paying attention anymore when I heard doink.. "Do you know her?" CC asks, cuz now we're now in a committed stripper lap dance relationship and I've been busted cheating on her?? "Who?" I try to not laugh looking around her, cuz of course she's still sitting in my lap, again completely normal? CC points across the room to drunk girl, wobbling in her 8 inch stripper boots, holding her arms open like.. whats up now bitch? "Uh, not really. She gave me a dance earlier." "SHE'S MINE!" Drunk stripper yells across the room over the beats of Kid Rock's Cowboy. "Not right now.. Go drink another one!" CC yells back. "Holy shit, these strippers are gonna get in a fight over you," Hubby laughs in my ear. "Oh. my. God. What. Is. Going. On?" I laugh back as drunk stripper bobbles her way over to us. "Shwe's buyin' adnoder dance wif me... I dink yoooou done." She slurred grabbing CC's arm "I'm not done.. back off," CC stretched her leg back up. I was laughing too hard to remember what happened next. Yea, laughter or the 10 drinks I had consumed. But I'm' pretty sure drunk stripper sat and waited for CC to finish before ripping more money outta someones hand and pushing CC off my lap. I completely get that the fight wasn't about me.. it was about money and not wanting to go straddle dirty shirt Jim Bo from Arkansas at the table next to us.. but it was fun throwing it in the guys face's that I had strippers fighting over me. And that's my Vegas story... Happy birthday guys!!!!

3 comments:

  1. more pics and vids, please ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I've just downloaded iStripper, and now I can watch the hottest virtual strippers on my taskbar.

    ReplyDelete